Imaginary Sails

A Few Small Tips on Dealing with Big Change

Sometimes life just coasts along, some things change but they are small and hardly noticed and don’t seem to disrupt a thing. Things are comfortable, safe and predictable like a well broken in pair of jeans BUT sometimes a slightly less comfy new pair of jeans gives you some extra swagger in your step and THAT is what I am trying to remember.

Aside from the small detail of becoming parents our life for the past couple of years has been chugging along smoothly, my hubby with a decent and steady job at a local mill (the reason we relocated here), me enjoying my year of mat leave and expecting to return to work full time (a bit begrudgingly of course), we bought a house, upgraded a vehicle and were relatively comfortable with most aspects of our life.

Then all of a sudden … SO. MUCH. CHANGE.

The hubby gets a lay-off notice.

I am told my position at the bank has been eliminated but they will probably have something for me at one of the two branches on the coast… Or they will have a severance package for me. Nbd.

My chronic procrastinator self actually starts looking for childcare and realizes there might be one option that will take our little guy and by the time we pay childcare more of my income will be going to that than I will bring home… I had been assuming that I would just simply go back to work and even though the thought of being away from our son broke my heart I was kind of just thinking that was the only option. Eyes. Opened.

Change is stressful, even good change. But it is also so good to shake things up sometimes and that is what I have learned in the past few months as we have navigated all of this (and still are navigating). We are fortunate that my husband has a trade and is taking the leap to self-employment. He just finished his first week working for himself and although that comes with its own set of headaches I think it will be more fulfilling In the long run. I am going back to work just two days each week and then providing a bit of childcare myself, as well as blogging!

So in short we have a lot of learning, adjusting, moving on and scheduling to do. Some days I forgot we even had anything to worry about but then some nights I couldn’t sleep because I was going over all the “what ifs” in my mind. Over and over. And over.

Here are a few things that helped and is helping me keep my head:

  1. Focus on the things that aren’t changing. It was comforting to know that no matter what happened with our jobs and potentially location I still had my little family and that gives me the warm fuzzies.
  2. If you are having trouble sleeping, instead of going on your phone (my usual go to) because it really doesn’t help at all, physically write it out. Put your thoughts on paper, it somehow eases your burden a bit. Or wake up your soundly sleeping husband and make him listen to you ;) which brings me to my next point…
  3. Communicate. I will admit when something is bothering or weighing on me I find it difficult to communicate about it and things usually come to a boiling point internally which rarely ends well. When my hubby and I really started communicating I felt so much better knowing we were on the same page.
  4. Take care of yourself, nothing makes stress worse than lack of sleep, junk food, and lack of exercise. I am guilty of all three but focusing on making healthy choices will make you feel better physically and mentally.
  5. Use your support system – talk to friends and family, be social, do your thing. It can be easy to get trapped inside your own head and in your own scary little world but your problems won’t seem nearly as bad if you have other things going on in your life.

Stay positive, do what you can with what you can control, don’t push away those that want to offer support. There’s nothing like a big shove out of your comfort zone to shake things up and give a new perspective. So much has changed in our lives and the future is now (way more) unsure and I think that could mean it will be better way than I ever could have expected!

Imaginary Sails - Dealing with change

What other ideas do you have for coping with change? Comment & share below if you found this helpful!

 

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  1. Raymond

    September 28, 2015 at 9:40 am

    Dear Tanitha, because I haven’t taken time to compose this, it will be a jumble of thoughts but, I believe, there will come a day that you will give thanks for this experience. I have been through a similar experience only my employer would not lay me off, even though there wasn’t enough work. This meant that i couldn’t devote time to drumming up business for myself and yet couldn’t quit or I’d get no EI. One month my paycheck was $960 and our mortgage payment was $800 which didn’t leave much after the telephone, Hydro, insurance etc were payed to feed a wife a 3 little kids…and we had no family to support us…. the dollar figures are still embedded in my memory! The upside is that it made us dig a little deeper and cast our cares on the only One who would not fail us.. God. Many nights I lay awake wondering how we would get through it and what if I was injured or got sick. A line of one of our hymns says, “There is no place where earth’s sorrows are more felt than up in heaven” and that has often been a huge comfort to me, also the scripture, “He gently leads those that are with young”. Continue to communicate with your heavenly Father who knows and cares.
    I must say I was little worried when I heard stories of Gibsons and hoped that you wouldn’t get caught up in the whirlwind of trying to “get ahead” and it wouldn’t all come crashing down and that more than your wallets would suffer.
    Much love and care from our house.

    1. Tanitha

      October 1, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      Thank you so much for the reminders Raymond!

  2. Kailey Flippo

    September 28, 2015 at 10:37 am

    Love your outlook! Change can be so hard, your tips are spot on…exactly what I needed to read! Amazing what pen and paper, exercise, communication and healthy eating can do for stress!

    1. Tanitha

      September 28, 2015 at 11:12 am

      Thanks Kailey! I often have to remind myself too – I am definitely guilty of getting stuck in my own head. You have been doing an amazing job of exercising lately, you’re my inspiration :)

  3. Ronda Bowen

    September 30, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    We just went through a period of huge change in our lives. It can get overwhelming at times, for sure. Once you’re on the other side, though, and ambiguity is over, things have stabilized, and you’ve got your entire life in boxes still, remember: It takes time to come back from all of that! The dust may be settling, but remember, it takes a bit for it to really settle – and it’s important to have patience with the process in the aftermath as well.

    1. Tanitha

      October 1, 2015 at 9:15 pm

      That’s so right Ronda, patience is so not my strong suit so I have to remember to just let things be and give ourselves time too. Thanks so much for your words!

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